"We lose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too"
As I drove back to Rutgers for the commencement of dance team nationals practices last week, I couldn't help but contemplate and reflect on how the team has changed my life. Growing up, I easily would have described myself as a solo dancer, only wanting to better my technique and ability for the sole benefit of myself. Thinking back, I was never really much of a team player, and I am proud to say this selfish mentality has transformed for the better.
I remember stumbling upon a documentary about the Rutgers University Dance Team on their road to nationals when I was still in middle school. I stayed up way past my bed time with my eyes glued to my computer screen watching each segment of the documentary, mesmerized at the perfect synchronization of the team, the glitz and the glamour of the uniforms, and the infamous "R" brand that flashed throughout the clips. As enchanting as it all appeared, what struck me the most were the clips of the practices and the comradery that was present on and off the dance floor. It was at that moment that I knew I wanted nothing more than to be a part of a dance team, the Rutgers University Dance Team.
Since that realization, I stalked varsity.com, studied each of their routines in the years to come and each year, that dream became closer and closer to reality. I dreamed, wished, prayed, crossed my fingers(and toes and everything else possible) that one day, maybe, just maybe, I could be one of those dancers, too. Two years ago (gah, times flies!) I stepped into the RAC for the very first time, unaware of the future blood and sweat that I would shed on this floor that would soon become my second home. I had no idea what to expect or even what would be expected of me because I had never seen an actual college dance team, or any dance team, in person. I had no dance team experience, I was trained primarily in modern/contemporary, and I had never held poms before in my life, but for some reason, I thought that I was meant to have this experience and I wasn't going to let anything stop me. I remember my mom scrambling around, searching for something I could wear to try-outs, and coming home with a sparkly red, long-sleeved, turtleneck half top(yes, they do make those). She told me the man at the dance and cheer store gave it to her for free when she told him I was trying out for the Rutgers Dance Team because he was a Rutgers alum. If that isn't luck, I don't know what is! I left everything I had on the floor that night and most importantly, I did what I love most, dance. When I heard my number being called, an intense wave of relief engulfed me, and I tried to contain every ounce of excitement that was trying so desperately to burst out. I got into the car that night and bawled my eyes out like a baby. I made the team!
In being a part of this team, I've learned more about myself, been pushed to my limit, and have grown into not just a strong dancer, but individual as well. In all honesty, being a part of this team is by no means an easy activity. You are challenged to dance to your ultimate breaking point because you only see so much capability in yourself, while your coaches and your teammates see so much more in your potential. So much discipline and dedication goes into what feels like a short season. Outsiders never see and can never fully understand why we practice so much and why we devote our entire selves to this team, but I've grown to appreciate the grueling hours in the RAC and in the studio. There are days when you want to throw in the towel, but then one of your teammates, your best friends, your sisters, puts their arm around you and says "we're all in this together," and you're reminded of why you fell in love with the sport and why you love being a part of something that is so much bigger than yourself. You want to put your best out on the floor because there are other people relying on you and trusting you. You want to give everything you have because you know the girl next to you is giving all of herself and more. When you're on that floor competing, you can't hear anything besides your own pulse and it's as if for those two minutes, time completely stops. You look out into the crowd and you see a sea of scarlet and those comforting, familiar faces. I think today, while my team did our turn section, my heart stopped and I instantly got the chills. The adrenaline is an experience I can't put into words. In a split second, a single moment, all the aching pain and the long hours just fade, and all that matters is that you're doing what you love with the people you love. As a team, you can just feel whether a routine was "on" or not and that's all because of this shared, personal experience. In all the times we've laughed together, cried together, celebrated triumphs together, and shared some silly inside jokes together, they've enabled me to come out of my shell and become the person I've always wanted to be. In my team, I've found motivation and inspiration. In saying this, I have to mention a quick anecdote. Last June when I was in Ocean City for Miss New Jersey, I received text messages, phone calls, and Facebook messages from every girl on the team and the coaches, even the new girls who'd I'd only met a handful of times, wishing me luck and saying how proud they were of me. This is a true testament to the love found in this team. It goes beyond the dance floor, but follows you in every facet of your life. Being on this team has changed my life, to say the least. It is and will always be a large part of who I am. Pride is an understatement when it comes to describing how I feel about my team. No matter how we place at nationals, to me, we are already winners.
In being a part of this team, I've learned more about myself, been pushed to my limit, and have grown into not just a strong dancer, but individual as well. In all honesty, being a part of this team is by no means an easy activity. You are challenged to dance to your ultimate breaking point because you only see so much capability in yourself, while your coaches and your teammates see so much more in your potential. So much discipline and dedication goes into what feels like a short season. Outsiders never see and can never fully understand why we practice so much and why we devote our entire selves to this team, but I've grown to appreciate the grueling hours in the RAC and in the studio. There are days when you want to throw in the towel, but then one of your teammates, your best friends, your sisters, puts their arm around you and says "we're all in this together," and you're reminded of why you fell in love with the sport and why you love being a part of something that is so much bigger than yourself. You want to put your best out on the floor because there are other people relying on you and trusting you. You want to give everything you have because you know the girl next to you is giving all of herself and more. When you're on that floor competing, you can't hear anything besides your own pulse and it's as if for those two minutes, time completely stops. You look out into the crowd and you see a sea of scarlet and those comforting, familiar faces. I think today, while my team did our turn section, my heart stopped and I instantly got the chills. The adrenaline is an experience I can't put into words. In a split second, a single moment, all the aching pain and the long hours just fade, and all that matters is that you're doing what you love with the people you love. As a team, you can just feel whether a routine was "on" or not and that's all because of this shared, personal experience. In all the times we've laughed together, cried together, celebrated triumphs together, and shared some silly inside jokes together, they've enabled me to come out of my shell and become the person I've always wanted to be. In my team, I've found motivation and inspiration. In saying this, I have to mention a quick anecdote. Last June when I was in Ocean City for Miss New Jersey, I received text messages, phone calls, and Facebook messages from every girl on the team and the coaches, even the new girls who'd I'd only met a handful of times, wishing me luck and saying how proud they were of me. This is a true testament to the love found in this team. It goes beyond the dance floor, but follows you in every facet of your life. Being on this team has changed my life, to say the least. It is and will always be a large part of who I am. Pride is an understatement when it comes to describing how I feel about my team. No matter how we place at nationals, to me, we are already winners.