May is for Many, Many Miracles

In only two short weeks I will be heading down to The Forum in Ocean City for a week in pursuit of the Miss New Jersey title and all of its glory, accompanied by its blood, sweat, and tears. It seems as though just yesterday I was rejoicing in celebration with my friends and family after I won my local title of Miss Cape Shores, and now the time is almost here to show how hard I've worked to improve this past year. Between spending countless hours at the gym and in the studio, shopping for finishing touches on my wardrobe, studying current events tirelessly, and giving arts empowerment workshops, some very exciting and noteworthy miracles have occurred in my life.

First and foremost, I completed the fourth semester of my undergraduate career, and will now be going into my junior year at Rutgers University in the fall, making Dean's List all semesters. I also finished my first "big girl job" with the American Civil Liberties Union as an Intake Intern, and I am so grateful for the experience I had there and its impact on the steps I'll be taking in the future towards achieving my goals. Not only was I honored to be on the Dean's List, but I also received academic recognition for placing in the top 10% of the sophomore class, accompanied by a School of Arts and Sciences Academic Excellence scholarship. Scholarship has proven to be one of my favorite points of the crown because it's been the backing for all of my achievements. I truly believe that with a sound, well-rounded education, a person is able to have a voice and can contribute to the betterment of themselves and society. This past week I received word that after an application process, I have been accepted in the School of Social Work at Rutgers, one of the best in the country, and will work towards my baccalaureate/MSW in the next three years. I'm looking forward to combining my background in criminal justice with a social work foundation to work one-on-one with juveniles fallen victim to the criminal justice system. Law school, give a few years and I'm coming for you!

In regards to my summer plans, I will be interning with She's the First in New York City, a non-profit organization dedicated to sponsoring girls' education in the developing world and cultivating leadership in the United States. Alongside a former She's the First intern, I've founded the Rutgers University Campus Chapter of the organization, and we are in the works of becoming a recognized group at the university and planning our first set of fundraisers. I will be working directly with leadership programming this summer and will be planning our annual Leadership Summit for Campus Chapter Presidents, organizing a summer camp for Young Women's Leadership High School, and hosting a seminar at the Eileen Fisher Leadership Institute, among many of the other tasks that go along with being an intern. As if that weren't enough to take onto my plate, I will also be interning with the Office of the Attorney General Criminal Justice Division in Trenton. My job will consist of working with DNA software programming in profiling convicted offenders, unsolved crime scene evidence, and missing persons. In other words, I will be living out my not-so-secret dream of being a Special Agent(hey, a girl can dream!) But enough with the logistics and on to the interesting appearances.

Going back a bit, on May 4th I had the opportunity to help out and volunteer as a scorekeeper for the Play Ball for Miracles Charity Softball tournament benefitting Children's Specialized Hospital. This time I was weary and made sure I stayed outside of harm's way, because the last time a flying foul ball clonked me in the head. It was not a memory I wanted to relive. Luckily, the weather was gorgeous and kept all the players in good spirits. One of the things I love most about attending Children's Miracle Network Hospitals/Children's Specialized Hospital events is that so many people come together in support of the organizations, and throughout the games the players constantly referred back to the phrase, "It's for the kids." On May 18th, I headed up to New Brunswick to catch up with my Shore sisters Anna, Brenna, and Kaitlin to walk in Children's Specialized Hospital's annual Walk N' Roll. Although it was early and quite dreary outside, it was all smiles and giggles from the children and families participating. We even got our picture taken with Mr. Cupcake(although he was making my mouth salivate a little) and got a bag of goodies. In keeping on with the trend of CMN, today I was able to spend some time at my local ACE Hardware, where they were hosting a giving campaign for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals, giving out free barbeque, and had a real Stanley Cup race car on display to check out. I had to convince quite a few young girls that I was an actual princess and that my crown was real and boy, were they a tough crowd! They also grilled me with questions, which I think if I could get through that, a Miss New Jersey interview will be a piece of cake.

During my last three years involved in the Miss America Organization, I have met a handful of the children that the hospitals treat each year. I am frequently reminded of the children's strength and strong sense of hope, which gives me courage in my daily life. Even the small things like a hug from one of the kids or a laugh at one of my corny jokes adds a lot of light in my life. Without even realizing it, the children I've met are "miracles" to me all year long! I love that the money I raise each year through donations and fundraisers has a face and a name, and I am blessed to be able to make a direct impact.

After Play Ball for Miracles on May 4th, I headed back home to be a part of a health & wellness program entitled, "It's All About Your Health."I was asked to perform a dance to symbolize how difficult it is to overcome hurdles, in this case, health issues. It's always fulfilling to be able to share your talent and use it to portray a powerful message. The program focused around the little changes a person can make in their daily lifestyle to battle issues of obesity and all of the diseases surrounding the prevalent problem in our society. A few short days later, I drove to Ocean County to put my minimal handy woman skills to use to help build a home for Habitat Humanity's efforts in restoring the shore. My sisters Nicole, Melissa, and I participated in a partner campaign put forth by Habitat Humanity of Northern Ocean and Lowe's to get more women involved in building and construction and also to combat the stereotype that women can't be a part of the dirty work that comes along with building a house. I have to admit I am not skilled whatsoever when it comes to hammering, but I am pleased to say I now know how to effectively work a nail gun(take that hammer!) This was my first time volunteering with Habitat, and needless to say, it was a humbling and gratifying experience. We had the unique opportunity to meet Iggy, the man whose family will receive the house when it's all finished. He works two jobs to support his large family and then comes to help build his house whenever he has a break. That is what you call making a house a home. It was a sentimental day for me because my own grandfather lives in that area, and his property suffered at the hands of Hurricane Sandy. This year has made me even more proud to be a New Jerseyan(if that's even possible) because I've seen first hand the strength and resilience of the citizens of this state and how quickly we've banded together to restore our home.

On May 11th, I relished in some quality time at home and went to the Atlantic City Boardwalk to support my Shore Sister Courtney F. in the Shirley Mae Walk/Run. What seemed to start off as a sunny day soon turned to downpour as we were all walking and conversing. In just a few minutes, we were all soaked! Fortunately, we didn't let the poor weather dampen our spirits, and we finished the walk after the skies started to clear. After all, we are pageant girls, and we never let a little rain(or a lot in this case) keep us from doing what we came to do! Two days later I got to spend some time with my mom, a rare occasion, at Almonesson Church's annual Mother's Day Dinner. The women's group that participates in the dinner graciously awards the community service scholarships at the shore pageants each summer, and helping serve and perform for them was the least we could do to show our gratitude for their generosity. Anna, Courtney, Brenna, and I all donned aprons as we served the meal, and quickly changed into our talent costumes after introducing ourselves briefly to the group. This was the first time I unveiled my new talent to my mom, and as always she watched as she blinked back tears. We were able to answer some tough questions from the crowd, in preparation for our Miss New Jersey interview. It was sweet and reassuring after telling the audience about the close friendships that form as part of being a part of this organization, that one of the volunteers from the pageant attested to how genuine we all were on and off the stage.

Last weekend, a band of the Miss New Jersey contestants spent some time at Canal's in Mays Landing to raise money for our scholarship fund. Mr. Magaziner, the owner of Canal's, wholeheartedly supports the contestants and kindly let us use his store to hold a car wash and meet-and-greet. I put my cleaning skills to use(or lack thereof) and washed cars in exchange for donations, and greeted customers as they came into the store, curious about all that was going on. We all were interviewed on local radio station 94.3, where I was able to give a shout out to my hometown and talk about the skills I've gained through competing in the Miss America Organization. I even had a surprise visitor come see me in the store! My dad, Alvin, came to get his car washed and he got interviewed by a news reporter from The Press who has been following the contestants' journey to Miss New Jersey. You can check out his moment of fame here.

This is just a brief summary of all the things that have occurred over the past month and to me, it feels like a blur. As the saying goes, "Time flies when you're having fun," and it couldn't prove to be more valid. When you're confident in your work and the path you intend to take, everything else comes naturally. I've learned in the past month that confidence is  key. There are going to be times when you make a complete fool of yourself, times when you stumble along the way, and times where you're lost and confused in what exactly is going to happen next, but that's the beauty of it. There is no set path and no certainty in anything. You can't take yourself too seriously, or you will burn out. Love life and it will love you right back. 

An Open Letter to My Mother

Dear Mama B,

This year for Mother's Day I knew making you breakfast in bed or any type of food for that matter would be out of the question, so I decided to write about how undeniably blessed and honored I am to be your daughter. You always told me that from the moment you found out you were pregnant with me, you knew I was going to be someone great, something special. It is because of your unwithering belief in my potential that I have the courage and will to pursue my goals with vigor. From that moment on, you put all of your dreams to the side, in order for me to build my own. It goes without saying that you are the most selfless person I know, with the most giving heart. I have to mention Aunt Karyn's favorite story about how you both went on vacation when I was still young and you cried the whole time because you missed me. I guess some things never change. You've instilled in me such powerful morals and value, and without your guidance, I would not have the success I have today. Each day I strive to make you proud because I've realized how much you've given up in order to allow me to seize my own opportunities. It is because of you that one day I will change the world. You inspire me continuously.

Most people only see your strong exterior and your involvement in everything from being room parent to a PTSO executive member to Dance Booster Club President. I've watched you run on an hour of sleep to work the overnight shift day after day, only to get another few hours of sleep to drive to dance competitions, pageant appearances, or basketball games. You never sat on the sidelines for any of my activities, but made sure you were actively involved and exceeded expectations. Growing up, you've sat in the front row of every dance recital, every field hockey game(even though you had no clue what was going on), and made sure you were at every pageant I've competed in. As exhausted as I know you get, you've never complained or looked for pity, you've only looked for more ways to be involved.At times I get so upset because you don't make it to as many football and basketball games as I'd like, but then I realize it's because you're busy providing the little things that I need to continue to make my dreams possible and tangible.

There was never a time you told me the word, "no." No matter how outrageous or intricate my dreams seemed, you've backed me every step of the way. When I told you I was going to compete for a pageant the first time, you told me I was crazy, and then immediately left to go pick up all of the wardrobe we thought I might need, with absolutely no guidance. When I won my first local title after that, I stood there with the crown freshly placed on my head, you ran up to me and threw your arms around me, and we both cried. When my heart was set on attending Fordham and being a Dance BFA in the Fordham/Ailey program, you drove me back and forth to New York City so I could audition and go on every tour I possibly could. When I got accepted to Fordham and not to Ailey, I remember you hid the letter and cried when you told me because you knew it would break my heart. Now that I think about it, it probably hurt you more than it hurt me, and that speaks volumes in itself about the love you have for me. When I told you I wanted to try out for the Rutgers Dance Team, you ran around tirelessly until you found the perfect try-out gear, even though you had no idea where to start. These are just the little things that have had such a vast impact on my life. Trust me, I remember every little thing you've done for me over the course of the years, and your support does not go unnoticed. To you, no dream of mine has ever been too big or too small.

Last year when I, admittedly, had a hard time adjusting to college life and I would call you in tears, you always knew exactly what to say. You built me back up with your words of encouragement and calmed me down in times of need. Whenever I've needed you, you've never failed to be there and you've given me the strength and bravery to look my fears in the eye and push past them. You've taught me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that it's okay to take a break once in awhile. Those are lessons that only you could ever get through my hard head because I trust your judgement more than anyone else. You say I don't thank you enough and you are right; I don't. It's not because I don't care, or because I don't take into account everything you've done for me. It is because I'm afraid no simple "thank you" will ever be enough for everything you've given me. We have this incredible mother-daughter bond(or maybe it's just the Kaler women curse) because I've grown up to be a carbon copy of you. I am undoubtedly proud of that. We may bicker and argue about seemingly common and mundane things, but we only butt heads because we are so similar. You are so beautiful, humorous, and completely selfless, and I hope to take those sought-after characteristics and embody them. Whether you know it or not, I emulate you. In being a role model and mentor to other little girls, I've taken your wisdom and imparted it to them. You are the basis for all of my achievements. Without you and your support, my accomplishments would mean nothing. I can only hope and pray in the years to come that I will be half as great of as mother as you've been to me.