A Day of Thanks

This morning I woke up bright and early to cheer on my high school's football team, the Absegami Braves. Although the wind chill was frigid and my toes were numb, I was warmed by the sight of so many old friends, whom I've shared a bundle of memories with throughout the years. It's somewhat baffling to think that so much has changed over the years, but at the same time, nothing has changed. I'm more than thankful to have led a life thus far, where I can walk into a familiar space and be greeted by the hugs and compliments of those I grew up with. After our alma mater beat our rival team 44-6, I headed home to hibernate under a blanket on my couch and haven't moved since. I'm incredibly thankful that I lead a life where I am constantly exhausted, busy, and stressed because that means that I am surrounding myself with challenges and goals to achieve.



With each passing year, I find myself becoming more and more aware of how thankful I should be and how easy it is to get lost in the complexities and rigidity of life. Not everyone gets to wake up every morning and enjoy a cup of their favorite coffee, followed by attending a college class, in order to get one step closer to how they envision their lives to be. Today, and everyday, I am undoubtably blessed to have a family that supports my outrageous endeavors no matter how many times I change my mind or how outlandish my ideas appear to be, friends/teammates that always provide me with a safe space to vent, a second, pageant family that has taught me many life-changing lessons to instill a belief in myself that I never knew I had, and a "pen pal"/boyfriend who makes me feel as though I am the most special human being to ever walk this earth and who showers me with unconditional love.

  

A few months ago I had the opportunity to participate in the Scarlet Day of Service with my teammates, a day Rutgers University students dedicate to serving the greater community. The site we chose was a nursing home for elderly women, in which we were hosting a "Pirate Luau"(trust me, it was as fun as the title hints!) After assembling leis, concocting "mocktails," and playing DJ, our site leader approached us to do a quick dance performance for the women. On the spot, we threw some of our sideline routines together and the women could not stop hooting and hollering(especially when we did the kick line!) They even asked us for an encore performance, which we eagerly performed without hesitation. We invited some of the women up to teach them a sideline and you would be surprised at how limber these women were. They were giving me a run for my money! In that moment, I was giggling and having so much fun that I completely forgot that we were in the middle of midterms and I had a mountain of work to do. It was then that I realized how thankful I am to realize the importance of immersing myself in the service of others. There is nothing like putting a smile on someone's face while sharing your talent, something that has brought so much happiness and substance to your own life. I am thankful for my health and my ability to dance, as others are not are lucky to have such basic necessities. After our performance, we were able to spend some time conversing with the women and gained a little insight to their personalities as they imparted life lessons I will never forget. When all the volunteers were asked to stand in front of the room and introduce themselves, complete with college major and career goals, the women were in awe of what we all strived to achieve. The moment that stuck out most prominently to me was when the women were asked if any of them had similar majors or careers, they all sat their quietly, with the exception of a few. One woman explained that when she was growing up, they were taught solely how to be a housewife and college was seldom an end goal. One of the things I am most thankful for is my education and how it's allowed me to expand my mindset and view of the world in just a few short years. I'm thankful that my family has put everything on the line to see that I reach my utmost potential. I'm thankful that I am allowed to be vocal about my beliefs and opinions and that I am encouraged to make change in areas I see fit, without fear of retaliation or intimidation. I have been granted endless opportunity and been able to take advantage of it, which not all can say. On this Thanksgiving, I am grateful to be surrounded by endless support.

This past weekend, I held my first set of Fall Arts Workshops through The Arts Empowerment Project, with help from my alma mater dance studio, The Absecon Academy of Performing Arts and my mentor/dance teacher, Miss Jenny. There is nothing like being surrounded by the laughter of children and watching lightbulbs start to emerge as they're running through interactive activities that teach underlying lessons of creativity, team building, critical thinking, and the like. I'm thankful that I've found a passion that sparks me with energy, constantly challenges me, and something that I can pursue every day. I'm thankful to have attended a dance studio that leaves it's doors open to its students long after they've "left the nest," as Miss Jenny would say. After a long few hours of movement-based challenges to get the participants on their feet and working in groups, we all sat down and had a moment of reflection, by taking out our writers journals to complete a prompt based on "I Am" poems. Part of this year's workshop was to supply each child with a writers journal where they could step outside of their comfort zones, learn about internal reflection, and have a safe space to store their deepest thoughts and dreams. When the girls were done writing, quite a few were eager to stand up and share, presenting their carefully crafted phrases like, "Art means me feel important. Art makes me feel like I can do anything. Art makes me feel special." One of my girls, for the "I want" part  of the poem said "I want to be just like Cierra when I grow up," and another wrote, "I want to be as good of a dancer as Cierra when I grow up." I am thankful to be a role model and mentor to so many beautifully driven and talented young girls, who constantly inspire me and motivate me on a daily basis. It is moments like these where you can't help but be anything but thankful. 

It is my wish you for all on this Thanksgiving, that you remember the little things, the seemingly common and mundane things, and give thanks that they are present in your lives. Call a far away loved one, put your phone away and look someone in the eyes to tell them how much they mean to you, and give generously with all that you have. Let this be the day that you turn your life around for the better and live life with open arms, an open mind, and most importantly, an open, giving heart. 

Is This Miss Coastal Shore 2014?

When my new director, Michael, called me and exclaimed that one question, I knew my life would be changing forever. About a month ago, I punched my ticket to this year's Miss New Jersey pageant and took my first steps towards a new year of service as Miss Coastal Shore. Just in case you're wondering, yes, I slept with my crown and sash next to my pillow, and yes, it still does not feel real. You would think after going through this process multiple times that it wouldn't be novel and exciting each time, but trust me, it is. I am elated, to say the least, and even more so honored to have the opportunity to serve my community, my state, and remain a tangible role model to the young women I'm privileged to meet and be inspired by on a daily basis.

A close family member questioned me why after three times not walking away with the crown would I compete again, and it made me think about my own intentions as a titleholder. I promised myself that when competing no longer became exciting for me, I would hang up my crown and high heels in pursuit of the plethora of other dreams waiting for me; however, each pageant still invigorates me, and with each passing year I fall more and more in love with the organization and what it stands for. Why? Why would I continue to compete after not walking away with the crown three times? Easy. I've spent the past few years traveling the state, speaking to other young girls about goal-setting and perseverance. I preach to them that despite adversity, anything is possible if you put your mind to it and work tirelessly for it. I can't walk away from a dream solely because it didn't work out as I had hoped the first three times. I can't just give up solely because people think that I can't do it. I can't just throw in the towel when there are groups of young girls looking up at me with wide eyes, desperately needing a tangible role model that looks like them, which leads me to my thoughts on last night's Miss America results.

I am ashamed and appalled at the reactions of certain Americans on social media regarding Nina Davuluri's crowning. The face of America is changing to one that encompasses the idea of diversity. Our country was founded on the principle that "all men are created equal," although that does not ring true through the societal constructs we've created that deny all people to live harmonious in a country that is known for its celebration of diversity and cultural difference. The ignorance and uneducated comments have to stop. We live in a country where we have access to unlimited knowledge, yet we fear for the unknown and the different. Nina exhibits everything a Miss America should be- brilliant, well-spoken, talented, humble, and most importantly, she is a trendsetter. If you didn't know, after my experience in being heavily involved with She's the First, I am a HUGE proprietor of "firsts" in all aspects of the word. Nina was the first Indian-American Miss New York, and now the first Indian-American Miss America. That alone speaks volumes about the steps that this nation is taking in moving progressively forward to take the steps needed to provide equal opportunity to all people regardless of ethnicity, race, gender, or socio-economic background. She is using her voice and her notoriety to champion that it's okay to be yourself and is unapologetic about where she came from and the hurdles she jumped to achieve success. She is making Miss America relevant to today's young woman. She is a role model to me and other young women across the country because she doesn't fit your "typical" pageant girl stereotype, but rather defies this norm and is a true representation for America and everything we should stand for as American citizens.

Many believe racism is still not alive and present today, but speaking from personal experience, I can tell you it is alive and well. When I was in elementary school, I had a crush on a little boy who told me he didn't like me back because "I was black." My mother and father would walk down the street holding hands and get scoffed at because my mother is Asian and White, while my father is African-American. Still to this day, people question my intelligence and reduce my intellect because of the color of my skin. There have been countless instances where I go to a Girl Scout meeting or hold an arts empowerment workshop in a low-income community and the advisor thanks me for coming into that space and bringing my crown to show the young girls that despite what they see on television or in magazines, they possess all the qualities needed to be a Miss America. I have frizzy, curly hair that never does what I want it to do, and that always seems to be the talk of what I need to fix in regards to my pageant preparation. I've tried everything from the Keratin straightening treatment(which burned my scalp to a crisp and made me have to cut inches off my hair) to relaxers and perms and back, yet still nothing works to tame my afro. Why do I have to conform instead of be comfortable in the skin I was born in? I believe it's my job as a titleholder to use my title to bring light to the fact that celebrating yourself, complete with imperfections, is the best way to achieve self-fulfillment. Miss America is so much more than hair, or skin color, or an exterior characteristic...it's about being a young woman of character, being confident in all that you are, and using your talents and gifts to pay it forward and be a change-maker in your community. I use my voice and this blog to defy the stereotypes of pageant competitors and hope that my readers appreciate and respect my honesty as I share my story to change the world in my own way.

In other Miss Coastal Shore news, I had my first Girl Scout workshop with my new title and I was bubbling with excitement to go and surprise the girls. I hid my crown and sash tucked away in my bag as we danced and sat down and had a conversation about goal-setting and dreams. I am always so blown away by the brilliance of the young girls I meet and just being surrounded by such open minds warms my heart. As we were dancing, one of the girls said she was tired and didn't want to dance anymore, so I told her if she didn't dance she wouldn't get a surprise at the end. Of course, that peaked all of the girls curiosities and they questioned about what the surprise might be. They guessed everything from a Barbie Dream House to toys from a new Disney Channel show about monsters. When I asked what this monster show was about, they told me the show stars these female monsters that are "pretty and skinny and always save the day." I laughed because I had no clue what the show was and told them I must be getting old, to which one of the girls replied, "But Miss Cierra, you don't have to worry. You have a good body for someone your age." Needless to say, I couldn't stop laughing at their serious humor. The Arts Empowerment Project just finished our 2nd Annual Stuff-a-Backpack Drive, in partnership with U.N.I.T.Y.-Uniting Our Neigh

borhoods and Investing Time in Our Youth, and we were able to donate over 200 school supplies to children and families in need. Millions of children go to school without the necessary supplies each year, which makes it difficult for them to transition into a new school year and puts financial strains on family. The average family spends about $100 on back to school supplies for children, and I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to go into school the first day and not have the basic necessities. Back to School is my favorite time of year and through my collection efforts, I can only hope that a backpack full of school supplies can inspire the same excitement and love for education in other children in my community. Thank you to everyone who donated and participated in the drive. If you did not have a chance to donate, but would still like to, I start collecting early and would be more than happy to take any supplies you may have.

I also had the honor of decorating jeans with the children at Children's Specialized Hospital for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals annual Miracle Jeans Day fundraiser. At a time where I felt overwhelmed and frantic, and overcome with anxiety because of the commencement of a new school year, being at the hospital put everything into perspective. The children there are so full of life and energy, despite whatever they may be overcoming. It seemed selfish of me to even remotely feel sorry for myself and my woes, when there were so many other larger issues at hand. All the kids wanted to come in and "see the princesses," which gave fulfillment to my day(not to mention help me live out my lifelong dream of being a princess!) I made a great friend with one of the girls, who celebrated her birthday just the day before, and we spent the entire time cracking jokes, decorating jeans, and getting to know each other. We also got to talk about one of my favorite things, jewelry, as she complimented me on my collection of bracelets. It was at this point that I was reminded of my grandfather, and heard his words, "Everyday I give something to a child because they're the ones who are going to give back in the future." My new friend asked me if I thought she could be Miss America one day and I slipped my bracelet onto her wrist, as a belated birthday gift, in hopes that she would always remember that she could.

There are so many exciting opportunities and happenings going on right now in school, with dance team, and the new expansion with my platform! If you haven't already, please check out booster.com/artsempowerment and order a t-shirt for The Arts Empowerment Project fundraiser, so I can continue to provide free arts lessons for children to achieve their academic and artistic goals, while also being able to start a scholarship fund for the children I serve. I've been keeping busy, as always, but I will write more about other updates in another blog post soon!