On Monday, I had the pleasure of speaking at Georgian Court University with my sisters, Anna and Courtney, for Women's Empowerment Week. We got the chance to speak about ourselves, our platforms, and answer some very tough questions(can you say Miss New Jersey interview prep?) We also donned makeup-less faces to show that we are "crowned with confidence" and comfortable in our own skin. The questions we were asked challenged me to think deeply about my growth and development through the past three years as a local titleholder. I remember being a shy and quiet seventeen year old who just wanted to share her love of dance. I had never been in a two piece swimsuit before my first local, let alone in heels, on stage, and in front of people. Now, I've grown to become an opinionated and confident twenty year old (almost 20!) who's found a greater sense of self through experience, both negative and positive. In reflecting on my time with the Miss America Organization, I've realized it's been instrumental in giving me the guts to seize opportunity and to never back down from a challenge. When I first started competing, I didn't know who I was and I'll readily admit that. There are days when I still don't know who I am because I'm a work in progress, but at least now I'm assured in the direction I plan to take. Every year that I don't come home with the coveted crown, I come back with so much more: life-long friendships, the ability to command any interview, a love for myself incomparable to any others', and patience. Patience that my time will come, and if it doesn't, it's because God doesn't have that particular want designated for me in His plans. Growth is so very important. I realized I have to take more time to acknowledge and embrace that.
Thursday I went gown shopping and participated in my first mock interviews, and I've never been surrounded by so much love and support. It's humbling to have so many people invested in your success and I only hope I can continue to make them proud. After only a few stores, I found "the" gown. As soon as I tried it on, without hesitation, I turned to my mom and said "This is the one." Thats what a gown should do to you. It makes all your inner light shine from the inside out.
On Friday, I was invited to Valley Park Elementary School in Salem County for their Family Fun Night and I had a blast! It was my job to kick off the festivities with a dance session, which included Gangnam Style, Cha Cha Slide, The Chicken Dance, and a few more fun dances with a cultural theme. I was worn out after the first dance! Everyone was out on the dance floor and I bet if we didnt have a time constraint, they would've danced all night. The kids came in, received passports, took family photos, and learned about various countries and their customs. At the end, a little boy came up to me and tugged my shirt and said, "I really loved dancing with you." My heart melted. Days like that are when I have to pinch myself because I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to do a Q & A and have a short dance workshop at Dave's Day, a fundraiser in honor of Dave Lewis, a childhood friend of mines dad who was a prominent, well-loved figure that shared his love of basketball to the community and taught valuable lessons along the way. I met a sweetheart named Amelia who danced by my side the entire workshop and when it came time to sign my autograph cards she was first in line. When I was finished writing hers, she ran over to her mom and said, "Mom, Miss America signed this for me!" It was then that I realized even though I may not ever get the chance to become Miss America, I will forever be a Miss America to Amelia, and that's just as important. A title is one thing, but embodying the qualities of that title is another. Only one woman gets to be Miss America every year and no matter what I'm going to dream big, but all the children that have touched my heart in the past three years make me feel like Miss America every day.
The other night I had a dream and the only thing I can remember distinctly about it is that I was wearing a bracelet that read "2 Corinthians 4." Of course, I was obliged to pull out my Bible and delve into the passage. At the beginning of this post I talked about being stressed. This dream was Gods answer to my worries. The passage details how God shines a light in our hearts. Over the past year the reoccurring theme of a light shining out of me has been a compliment everywhere I go. I now know exactly what that light is. Further in the passage, it reads "8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;9 persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." As weary as I feel on the outside, these are only temporary stressors and will pass with time.
Take time to enjoy the little things in life; it's what makes life fulfilling and fruitful.
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