Big Dreams, Small Town Girl

My official Miss New Jersey headshot, courtesy of Richard Krauss

It seems surreal that in only 6 short weeks, I will be packing my belongings and heading to a week at The Forum Inn in Ocean City in pursuit of the Miss New Jersey crown. It feels like just yesterday I was driving home from Cape May Court House after being crowned Miss Cape Shores, brainstorming all of the tasks I wanted to accomplish during my reign, and now here I am. In all honesty, right here is a scary place to be. A scary, yet exhilarating place to be. At Miss New Jersey orientation this past weekend, Sally Johnson, our fabulous co-executive director, told all of the girls that the returners are just as nervous as those who are competing for the first time. She couldn't have explained it better. What many don't realize about pageantry is that you're not just competing against other contestants; you are competing against yourself, last year's placement, and statistics. You have those that constantly cheer you on, but you can't help but recognize the few voices that say you can't. Each year you want to grow and improve, and you work tirelessly to get one step closer to the coveted crown. A year's worth of hard work goes into one week. You have one shot in an ten minute interview to make a lasting impression on a panel of judges that hold your fate in their hands. As scary as it is and may seem, it is the most thrilling, unique, and fulfilling experience you will have in your whole lifetime. Obviously it has to be for me to keep coming back year after year!

Before news hit that the Miss America pageant was returning home to Atlantic City this September, I made a promise to myself that I would prepare for this year's pageant as if it were my final shot and as if I were competing to be Miss America. My ultimate goal is that Saturday night after the final crowning of Miss New Jersey, win or lose, I will be internally satisfied with my performance, and know that I prepared to the best of my ability. I owe at least that to myself, my family, my friends, and the young girls that have followed and looked up to me during this journey. I will continue to work diligently and persistently because I refuse to let everyone down.

As I mentioned earlier, this past weekend was Miss New Jersey orientation. I woke up bright and early to perfect my hair and makeup and head down to Ocean City to meet with my Shore family for breakfast. I arrived arm in arm with my sister and good friend, Courtney F., excited and anxious to learn more about this year's pageant, and the one detail that was on everyone's mind...contestant order. There is something so comforting about being around my Miss New Jersey family. I was able to reunite with all my old friends, and spend some time getting to know the new friends I will spend a week with in June. I chose my swimsuit from our generous sponsor Posh, which means my whole wardrobe is now complete. Before I knew it, we were picking contestant order and I drew (drum roll please) lucky number 9! This means I will interview Thursday morning, perform talent Thursday evening, and compete in Swimsuit, Evening Gown, and Onstage Question on Friday.This year's theme for the parade is "Villains Down the Venue" and I will be the ever-so-lovely Evil Queen from Snow White.  For talent I will be performing a self-choregraphed lyrical dance to "I Believe," made famous by American Idol's Fantasia. The song symbolizes my constant battle with self-esteem and how finally I've hit a point in my life where I am settled in my own skin and the path I've chosen to take. I've learned that self-confidence is the root of all success because if you don't believe in yourself and your capabilities, you will never be able to convince others of your potential. After digging deep within my heart, I've realized that this is the moment I've been waiting for all my life. I am ready and wholeheartedly willing to be Miss New Jersey and a representative for the state I've been blessed to call home for twenty years.

On Sunday, I had an equally exciting day as I geared up to dance all day in celebration of National Dance Week and World Dance Day for my first Children's Miracle Network Hospitals fundraiser of the year. Children as young as seven years old attended, and the age range went all the way up to adults. The room was packed with thirty eager women who wanted to join in on my celebration of the art form of dance, get some exercise, have a lot of fun, and raise money for a cause near and dear to my heart. Volunteer teachers taught everything from Bollywood, to Irish, to Musical Theatre, to Ballet, to Hip Hop, and the day culminated in me teaching a contemporary class. I have to admit that Irish and Bollywood, the two types of dancing I've never done, were a challenge and my calves sure hurt the next day! I wanted to make sure that the classes were easy enough for all levels to pick up, but also a challenge for the more advanced dancers. I had the chance to spend time with my Miss Cape Shores sisters, and also was able to catch up with the girls I grew up dancing with at home. Through the support of my community, we were able to raise $700 for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals! A heartfelt thank you goes to Miss Jenny and the Absecon Academy of Performing Arts for setting up the studio space and volunteering their time to teach. Miss Jenny was instrumental in helping me set up the event and I could not have done it without her help. 

As always, it would not be a typical Cierra blog post without a story or lesson to share, so here it is. At my Day of Dance fundraiser, during the lunch break, I was showing Amy and Emily the turn section of my Miss New Jersey talent when one of the younger participants stood on the other side of the room and watched me intently. When I was done, she came up to me and inquired, "How do you do that?" I smiled and replied without hesitation, "It's easy. I'll show you." I went through the steps with her and on the first attempt she fell. I picked her right back up and we worked on it again and again until she was able to get it. On my other side, her little sister, who wasn't more than four years old, also watched and tried to do the same. I picked her up and twirled her around so that she could try the turn. As I was preparing to teach my contemporary segment of the event, I went over to the stereo to play the song we were going to dance to. Another little girl came up to me, tugged my shirt, and said "Are you going to teach now?" When I told her yes, she jumped up and shrieked "Oh cool!" It was then that I realized even though I didn't have a crown on my head, there were still little girls looking up to me. I remember being that age and watching the older dancers, who seemed to flawlessly turn, lift their legs in the air, and jump higher than buildings. I remember wanting to be them with every fiber of my being and praying that one day I would have a fraction of their talent. I thought those dancers were the coolest people alive. When I got home later that day, I replayed those events in my mind and got teary-eyed. I HAD turned into those dancers. I was living my dream. Being a role model is the best job I could ever ask for. There's something so special about inspiring little girls to live out their dreams. That's why I do what I do and that's why I've become who I am. I see myself every single time I look into a young girl's eyes and if it weren't for the role models I've had over time, I would had never been able to visualize myself living my dreams.