An Open Letter to My Mother

Dear Mama B,

This year for Mother's Day I knew making you breakfast in bed or any type of food for that matter would be out of the question, so I decided to write about how undeniably blessed and honored I am to be your daughter. You always told me that from the moment you found out you were pregnant with me, you knew I was going to be someone great, something special. It is because of your unwithering belief in my potential that I have the courage and will to pursue my goals with vigor. From that moment on, you put all of your dreams to the side, in order for me to build my own. It goes without saying that you are the most selfless person I know, with the most giving heart. I have to mention Aunt Karyn's favorite story about how you both went on vacation when I was still young and you cried the whole time because you missed me. I guess some things never change. You've instilled in me such powerful morals and value, and without your guidance, I would not have the success I have today. Each day I strive to make you proud because I've realized how much you've given up in order to allow me to seize my own opportunities. It is because of you that one day I will change the world. You inspire me continuously.

Most people only see your strong exterior and your involvement in everything from being room parent to a PTSO executive member to Dance Booster Club President. I've watched you run on an hour of sleep to work the overnight shift day after day, only to get another few hours of sleep to drive to dance competitions, pageant appearances, or basketball games. You never sat on the sidelines for any of my activities, but made sure you were actively involved and exceeded expectations. Growing up, you've sat in the front row of every dance recital, every field hockey game(even though you had no clue what was going on), and made sure you were at every pageant I've competed in. As exhausted as I know you get, you've never complained or looked for pity, you've only looked for more ways to be involved.At times I get so upset because you don't make it to as many football and basketball games as I'd like, but then I realize it's because you're busy providing the little things that I need to continue to make my dreams possible and tangible.

There was never a time you told me the word, "no." No matter how outrageous or intricate my dreams seemed, you've backed me every step of the way. When I told you I was going to compete for a pageant the first time, you told me I was crazy, and then immediately left to go pick up all of the wardrobe we thought I might need, with absolutely no guidance. When I won my first local title after that, I stood there with the crown freshly placed on my head, you ran up to me and threw your arms around me, and we both cried. When my heart was set on attending Fordham and being a Dance BFA in the Fordham/Ailey program, you drove me back and forth to New York City so I could audition and go on every tour I possibly could. When I got accepted to Fordham and not to Ailey, I remember you hid the letter and cried when you told me because you knew it would break my heart. Now that I think about it, it probably hurt you more than it hurt me, and that speaks volumes in itself about the love you have for me. When I told you I wanted to try out for the Rutgers Dance Team, you ran around tirelessly until you found the perfect try-out gear, even though you had no idea where to start. These are just the little things that have had such a vast impact on my life. Trust me, I remember every little thing you've done for me over the course of the years, and your support does not go unnoticed. To you, no dream of mine has ever been too big or too small.

Last year when I, admittedly, had a hard time adjusting to college life and I would call you in tears, you always knew exactly what to say. You built me back up with your words of encouragement and calmed me down in times of need. Whenever I've needed you, you've never failed to be there and you've given me the strength and bravery to look my fears in the eye and push past them. You've taught me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that it's okay to take a break once in awhile. Those are lessons that only you could ever get through my hard head because I trust your judgement more than anyone else. You say I don't thank you enough and you are right; I don't. It's not because I don't care, or because I don't take into account everything you've done for me. It is because I'm afraid no simple "thank you" will ever be enough for everything you've given me. We have this incredible mother-daughter bond(or maybe it's just the Kaler women curse) because I've grown up to be a carbon copy of you. I am undoubtedly proud of that. We may bicker and argue about seemingly common and mundane things, but we only butt heads because we are so similar. You are so beautiful, humorous, and completely selfless, and I hope to take those sought-after characteristics and embody them. Whether you know it or not, I emulate you. In being a role model and mentor to other little girls, I've taken your wisdom and imparted it to them. You are the basis for all of my achievements. Without you and your support, my accomplishments would mean nothing. I can only hope and pray in the years to come that I will be half as great of as mother as you've been to me.