Day #1 is always the most exhilarating day, but also the longest and most tiring. I woke up bright and early at 5:45am to load my record-breaking number of suitcases and garment bags into the car, followed by a breakfast send-off with my shore family. The night before leaving for Miss New Jersey is like Christmas Eve. I laid in bed with my mind racing all night and constant butterflies in my stomach that soon diminished as I became distracted by the warmth of the familiar faces of my friends. After a long day of introductions and rehearsals, the contestants had a little break in Smithville, complete with shopping, dinner, and my personal favorite...coffee.
Day #2 was, of course, another long day of rehearsals but the up side was that my Little Star/Little Sister, Emily, was by my side for a pizza party and rehearsal. Emily and I talked about her upcoming pageant and I filled her in on my itinerary for the week, and she even came up with a super spunky handshake for the evening gown competition later that week. Having Emily there reminded me of the goals I set out for myself and kept me grounded during a time of high anxiety. We spent some time with Fiona and her Little Star and shared quite a few laughs that made me forget about the competition aspect of the week and allowed me to have some fun. Later that evening the annual Miss New Jersey parade took place and I was able to show off my apple and bejeweled black pumps as the "Evil Queen" from Snow White, fitting for the year's theme "Villains Down the Venue."Accompanied by the cutest dwarfs ever, thanks to my dance studio Absecon Academy of Performing Arts, I tried to look as evil as possible, but I'm not too sure it was convincing. Thanks to my mom, parade costume extraordinaire for gathering the necessary pieces for my costume and making me look my best!
I walked into my interview feeling as prepared and confident as possible, feeling powerful in my favorite red dress. The first question is always the scariest because it sets the tone for the entire interview. After one of the judges broke the ice by asking, "If you had the chance to sit down and talk to Governor Christie about funding arts programs in New Jersey public schools, how would you convince him to?" I immediately smiled and relaxed. From there, my whole interview was focused around the importance of arts education and my desire to be an attorney, namely a public defender. "If you could save one arts program what would it be? Lawyers are known for stereotypically being liars, why do you think that is? How could and would you defend someone you know is guilty? How would you balance studying for LSATS and preparing for law school if you were to be crowned Miss New Jersey? How would your life change if you won Miss America?" I was unapologetic about who I am and strive to become. I told the judges that with everything I balance in my life that the only word to describe me is crazy, and when the interview was over, the judges chuckled as I exclaimed, "Das it?!"which should've translated to "That's it?!" I wanted to paint a very vivid picture of who I was, flaws and all, and I left the room knowing that if the judges were to choose me, it was because I was myself.
Later that night I competed in talent, my safe haven. When I dance, it is the one time where I completely forget about everything around me. Being on stage cures a multitude of ills and the audience, the judges, the lights...it all seems to fade away, even for that moment in time. For one of the first times, I came off stage and didn't feel fulfilled or satisfied with my performance. My brain was running a mile a minute and I had forgotten to lose myself in the movement; It was a scary feeling. Through the years I've learned dancing is much more than perfectly pointed feet and extraordinary turn-out. It's more than sharp strong arms and hitting each movement to its extent. Dancing is about the gasped breaths in between each moment where you're lost in a timeless, fleeting second and you are fully aware of what it feels like to be alive. I was disappointed that I forgot that. I was lost in the pageantry of the event and forgot to stick to what I know and what makes me comfortable. I remembered that night what dancing has given me and I vow to never lose it again.
On a much more positive note, my best friend, Anna, sang her heart out and wowed the crowd to win the talent preliminary award. You'd think in pageantry there would be some kind of rivalry or ill feelings towards other contestants, but when I say that I love Anna more than life, it's an understatement. I've watched her sing at a handful of basketball games and other events, and there is not a time where I don't get chills. This time was no different. I am proud, but even more so blessed to have someone so accomplished and talented in my life. Also, my girl Courtney worked her evening gown and lit up the stage to take the evening gown prelim and my shore sister, Kaitlyn and forever first sister, Krysten tied for the swimsuit prelim award. So much pride in one night!
That night I also won the State Community Service award for my efforts with both my personal platform and Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. It was a pleasant surprise to be awarded for all of my hard work when every single young woman that is a part of this organization is devoted to service and her individual cause. My platform, entitled "Empowering Today's Youth through Arts Education" is devoted to advocating the importance of arts education in public school settings and its benefits on the development of our nation's youth, while also providing opportunities and outlets for young people to be exposed to the arts if they otherwise don't have the means to. My platform is not something I conjured up overnight because I wanted to compete in a pageant. I've been working to give children the sense of agency and the 21st century skills needed to be competitive in today's workforce through creative outlets because I saw the direct impact the arts had on me as an artist, a scholar, and a leader. Through my platform I have been able to start my own organization that offers free arts lessons to children ages 5-12, collect thousands of school supplies and donate them to local schools in need, speak to classrooms all over the state and conduct arts empowerment workshops, and performed and spoke at many other events related to education and youth empowerment. I've also been able to form a close bond with Children's Miracle Network Hospitals, each year raising more funds than the next, and being a guest volunteer at many of their events. I am humbled that my dedication and love for serving others was worth recognition at the state level.
Friday night I competed in swimsuit, evening gown, and on-stage question. For the first time ever I was actually excited to go onstage and show off all the hard work I've done on my body over the past few years. Believe it or not, growing up I was fifty pounds heavier than you see me today. I was teased, taunted, and called all sorts of awful names and didn't really seem to fit in at times. I never went to the beach or pool out of fear of having to actually be seem without baggy clothes in public. I distinctly remember someone telling me I would never be a ballerina because I was too fat. That one sentence shattered me, but it also helped me to grow and learn how I could take negatives and transition them into positives. When I went to high school, I decided I wanted to play a team sport and chose to take up field hockey. After months of practice and hardcore running, the pounds started to shed. I started to look like a different person, and exercise became a part of my everyday life. My senior year came and I finally started to feel comfortable in my own skin. It was at that point that I decided to compete in my first Miss America local and I wore my first two-piece (ever!) onstage, wearing heels, in front of a live audience. Three years later and I am still struggling with the weight demon, but in a different sense. Last year I enlisted the help of a trainer, so I could finally get my body to a point where I was proud. I learned all about how to eat a balanced diet, and which workouts would target my problem zones(hello butt and thighs) without making me too bulky. This year I chose to train myself, utilizing all that I was taught, while researching exercise and recipes online to keep myself motivated and interested. I lost only about two pounds from last year, and toned up dramatically by engaging in yoga and pilates. I've learned that the skinny comments are just as painful and leave emotional scars just as much as the fat jokes. This year I was finally happy with my health and fitness. In this, I've learned that I will never fit into the imaginary box others try to frame me in, but to be completely frank, I don't want to and I shouldn't want to. All bodies regardless of shape or size should be celebrated and I am glad that I love mine. I also competed in evening gown, a gown that I fell in love with the moment I tried on. I felt like it completely embodied my personality. I got to share the spotlight with my little sister, Emily, and we got to show off our choreographed handshake to the audience. In my onstage question, I was able to tell the audience about how the arts have helped me envision myself as a leader and how it's given me the skills to make me stand out amongst my peers. It has allowed me to find my voice and to speak out in public without inhibitions, and this is what I hope to instill in other children, like me, through the promotion of my platform. Congratulations to Melissa on her swimsuit prelim award, my shore sister Carissa on her evening gown win, and the three-way talent tie winners Venessa, Ayla, and Katie!
That completed the final phase of preliminary competition, and I had done everything I possibly could to make the judges see that I had everything it takes to be worthy of holding the prestigious title. Getting called into top ten was out of my hands because I knew I gave my all. Before I get to my account of the final night, I have to talk about the fun that I had all week. Every year Miss New Jersey, at least for me, has been a week of friendship-whether it be making new ones or enjoying the presence of withstanding ones. This year was different from others because there was a strong feeling of comradery and love that was present in the air between all of the contestants. Every girl was genuinely happy for the others, regardless of their own placement or special awards. I found myself delving deeper into conversations with girls that I've known since I started competing, and getting to know them better than I ever had before. I also loved spending time with the new girls and finding common ground by opening up like I never have before. Before going any further, I want to thank the Class of 2013 for making this such a monumental bonding year. The sisterhood component of the Miss America Organization is a large reason why I keep coming back. My mom even said at the beginning of the week that no matter who won, who placed, who won prelim awards, she felt like she was connected to so many of these girls in various ways that she was a proud mom of all of them.
Saturday was a complete blur. I can hardly remember taking our annual pictures on the beach or calling my mom to tell her that I was nervous about that night or hitting my pillow hard, waking up with just enough time to do my hair and makeup before leaving for the pier. All the events of that day just blended together and if it weren't for my ability to relive the night courtesy of the livestream video from The Press of Atlantic City, I wouldn't believe that Saturday night ever happened. As we were getting ready in the dressing room, Miss America walked in and everyone went into fan girl mode. She was stunning in a relaxed way and you could tell she oozed a carefree confidence that I try to emulate.
As I waited in the wings backstage, my pulse quickened and my heart raced. I shut my eyes and took an instinctive deep breath. "This is it," I thought to myself. Would I make top ten? The thing about pageantry is that you work so hard in every area of your life to not only be average, but to excel. Trust me, it's not easy to wake up each morning with renewed vigor when there's many times you just want to throw in the towel and give up. Fatigue, stress, burn out...I've experienced it all. This year was so sentimental for me not only because of my own personal improvement, but because I came to the realization that I've been preparing for this opportunity my whole life. Academic achievement, community service, performing, public speaking, and being a role model are all things that I strived for well before I competed in the Miss America Organization. To think that one week, one night, one panel of judges, could change the entire course of your life is insane, but it's entirely true.
It was finally time. As the contestants filled the stage, I felt ready for whatever the oncoming events would throw at me. Dena approached the podium and with only a few short words, "Your first contestant in the top ten is...Contestant #9 Miss Cape Shores, Cierra Kaler-Jones," she took my breath away. I was stunned, relieved, and holding back tears as I waved to the audience and walked to stage right. As the numbers whittled down to ten, I saw so many deserving, talented, and well-rounded women standing behind me. With the caliber of contestants this year, I could not believe that I was fortunate enough to be on that stage, let alone advancing to the next step of competition. The curtains closed, and I ran as fast as my high heels would carry me and bawled my eyes out to my hostess and she threw my hair into a bun. Before I knew it, I was backstage and after barely having enough time to touch my toes once to stretch, I was told I had to go onstage. I made sure this time to leave it all out on the stage because I knew there were no second chances, no shoulda, coulda, wouldas. That afternoon, the last thing my mom said to me was, "Fight for it!" and I did in every phase of competition.
The top ten contestants lined the stage and it was time for the top five to be called out. "The first contestant still in the running to be Miss New Jersey 2013 is...contestant #9, Cierra Kaler-Jones." This time, it hit me smack in the face. ME?! TOP FIVE?! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. In that moment, I turned around and pointed back at Anna and mouthed, "Thank you. I love you." Best friend instinct knew she read my words perfectly. The rest is history. I am beyond humbled and honored to have been 3rd runner up to Miss New Jersey this year, in addition to winning the overall interview award. Cara, you already have made such a stunning Miss New Jersey and are so down-to-earth and relatable. I hope you have a fantastic year because you are so deserving. I can't wait to watch you rock it out in Atlantic City! In working with my platform, I've learned that my voice is powerful and that it can make impact. I used to be afraid to just raise my hand in class and speak because I felt like my voice wasn't valuable and what I had to say wasn't important. I hope to move mountains with my voice, even if they're just small ones. The interview portion of competition forces you to dig deep and have a solid grasp on who you are, what your dreams and goals detail, and most importantly, why all of these things? I am grateful for that. After the competition, Amy was waiting with the largest grin on her face and it was then I knew that I had accomplished one of my greatest goals of all-to be a role model and to make those who look up to me proud. With tears streaming down my face and a slice of pizza in each hand, I hugged my parents, Hantz, Anne, Emily, Carleen, and my grandparents with no intentions of letting go. 
So what's next for this Jersey girl? Well, first and foremost I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I didn't compete one more time. If you have a dream, a goal, a desire, don't give it up for anything and most certainly do not let yourself stand in the way of your own success. With that said, I hope to be on the Miss New Jersey stage again next year, but only God and time will tell.
I have two invaluable internship experiences this summer-one with She's the First in NYC and with the Office of the Attorney General Criminal Justice Division in Trenton. Not to mention I'll be flying out to Alabama in a few weeks with the Rutgers University Dance Team for UDA camp. You might say that I'm a busy girl! I'll be starting the Social Work program at Rutgers for my junior year in the fall and gearing up for my favorite time of the year. In all of this, I feel eternally blessed and cannot stress it enough. The Thank Yous will be coming in a blog post soon enough, so stay tuned, but I don't think thank you could ever be enough.
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